rediscovering eden
You’re in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I’m with you
So close to feeling alive
A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close
So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you’re beside me and look how far we’ve come
So far we are so close
How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We’re so close
To reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let’s go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far
dailies
Thursday, March 6, 2008
-11:07 PM
; im still struggling to understand the things that go through your mind.- yes sometimes there are things that dont need to be said for people to know. but that doesnt mean we can just not say it anyway. because saying it can make such a big difference sometimes.
sometimes. there are so many things that we wish we could tell you. or maybe i shouldnt speak for the rest.
i wish i could tell you, then. because you never seem to realize the weight of the things you do. you never seem to care about the effects of the things that you do. simply because you enjoy it.
do you know, do you really? i dont think so. how clueless you can be mystifies me.
- i dont know how to talk to you i dont even want to try. it took me two years of knowing you to see the person you really are. and i never really expected you to be like that. but i guess thats alright. kind of, anyway. i dont mind it doesnt really affect me, i guess. i have no inkling whatsoever of how to talk to you. what would i say. what would i do. what would i think. what would make a difference. what would...? what...? i wont do anything... or say anything. because its not like you'd listen to me anyway. i just hope you know yourself what you are doing. and wake up your senses.
i cant catch you if you fall.- and you. why does the world have to take your misery home with them. what have you ever done to earn the right to do what you've been doing the entire time (whether consciously or subconsciously). because its the situation everyone fears when you become exactly the one who's hurting you. and why? why her? you know what it feels like why are you putting her through the same. why are you becoming just as self-obsessed. why do you have to be so completely blinded to everything except your misery. and whatever she wants. what does she do that blinds you so. sometimes i almost want to say
why are you so stupid?!- you whom this is meant for will never read this anyway. because you dont read blogs. you're one of my last 'surviving' external siblings. im thankful for that. and -not very strangely- you're one of the few people i confide in... halfway. which is getting to be quite alot these days. ive lost track of the number of time he's said something which i swear i once upon a time heard you say as well. little immaterial inconsequential thing that just adds another point to how much he reminds me of you. im glad you found me someone to tease you about. life would be so boring otherwise. thank you anyhow. and keep a lookout on your side for me.
- i want to hug you and tell you it'll be okay. i try to think of an answer to the things you say but nothing ever comes to mind. and you said this to me before and im saying it to you too.
if you need to fall apart, i can mend a broken heart. and i will.
- and ive written so many things to you the past few days i dont know what to say now.
you were my strength when i was weak. you were my voice when i couldnt speak. you were my eyes when i couldnt see. you saw the best there was in me. lifted me up when i couldnt reach. you gave me faith coz you believed. each moment we spend together is a moment unlike any other. and i would still feel that it was worth it. there's so much of him and you and you in him. and yet still so separate. somehow so different. and still so special. still.
so special.wrong or right; which story do i tell?
